Remember that time that person X did that thing to you 10 years ago? Remember how that was the reason you stopped talking to each other and why you still hold that resentment against that person? Now remember when person Y did that thing to you 1 year ago and how you weren’t too happy but still managed to work past it? Now have a long hard think about how the situation from person X and person Y aren’t really that different yet one leaves you with the feeling of resentment and 1 just makes you shake your head at how stupid people can be.

This is a common scenario in people’s lives. What once was a major deal in your life doesn’t seem like such a big deal now, especially the second time around. Yet most people still cant work past that first betrayal, no matter what it was, yet can forgive a lot easier the 2^nd/3^rd/4^th time around. Why is this?

I know that as people age what once seemed like something big suddenly seems a lot smaller, especially in comparison to modern concerns relating to kids, partners, family, friends, money, career and any of the other 100 things that go through your head each day. Yet we still manage to hold on to that old pain, most of us until the day we die. Like I said, I’m the first to acknowledge that as we age we forgive easier but I pose the question again, why cant the old be treated like the new.

I accept that some people work past issues quicker than others. I also accept that what causes one person pain causes another person a slight frustration and causes the next person nothing. I also accept that people move past issues at all different paces and in different ways. I guess what I fail to understand is that if you can get past things easier now than 10 years ago, why cant the thing you couldn’t work past 10 years ago not be worked past now?

Let me give you an example based on my life.

I have someone in my life that through the tender of our friendship wrongs and rights have been caused by both parties. Good times have been had. Bad times have been had. Drunk times, high times, sober times..everything. This person and I have seen each other at our worse and at our best. And we have known each other for a LONG time. So to say we know each other well would be an understatement. I can quiet honestly say that no matter what happens along the road this person and I will be friends until the end of our days. Obviously I cant guarantee that but I am willing to place a bet on it and feel quite confident I will win.

Well, this person and I have what I like to dub verbal and emotional battles. Not often but enough that it gets frustrating. The problem with these battles is that its over the smallest of things. Petty inconsequential things that at the end of the day don’t really cause us any serious bother or problems. Yet we cant stop it. Neither of us will back down and neither of us is wrong, when in actual fact its more like both are wrong but neither will to back down.

Now I know this is all based on stupid mistakes and events from the past that neither of us has worked past and forgiven each other for. The mistakes aren’t really anything that need forgiveness for, not this late in the game, yet we cant let the past be the past. Really, its quiet sad because at the core of it we are pretty damn good friends. Yet this constant battle of back and forwards rages.

Now, without giving anything away or mentioning exactly who this person is I can say with what I believe to be unbiased honesty is that usually these battles start with the person lashing out in frustration because they have formed an opinion in their head and I respond in the least positive way because I know they have reacted the way they have because of their thought process. No where in any of these battles does either side stop to really think before reacting.

I guess the point I am trying to make with this example is that if not for the inability to move forward both parties would probably get along a whole lot better and these confrontations would probably be nonexistent. Alas reader, this doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon which at the end of the day is rather sad.

So whats my point? Glad you asked...

My point is this, its time to move on. Not just for me, or the person in my story but for everyone. Think of the top 10 things in your life that have brought you to your most low. Obviously these are things that don’t involve death, unemployment or anything else that isn’t exactly controllable. More along the lines of the top 10 things that someone has done to you. And then I want you to think about how many of these you have TRULY worked past, not that you have convinced yourself that you have worked past but actually worked past. I bet if you were being totally honest you MAY have worked past 2 of them. Now, I want you to think about any other situation that has happened in your life that is similar to these top 10 that haven’t affected you the same because they happened when you were more mature, wiser and had grown more. And now, as hard as it may seem, I want you to forgive the people in these top 10.

Easier said than done? I don’t think so. I think if you have experience something similar and have worked past it now these shouldn’t be so hard. Its time to let go, move on, forgive and grow. In doing this simple task I don’t promise that your life will suddenly take a turn for the better. You wont suddenly become a millionaire, date a supermodel, become CEO at work or the dozen other things that dreams are made of. What I can promise is that you may feel a weight of your chest that you haven’t been able to shake in a long time. You may feel better as a person and be able to move on in your life because you don’t have this thing weighing you down. You may even suddenly reconnect with that person you haven’t spoken to in all that time because of this begrudging resentment you felt. And who knows, you may even find a friend that you have had there all that time you had forgotten about. Lets face it, we can all do with more friends, more people to surround ourselves with that have a positive effect on our lives. And who better to be a friend than someone who knows you almost as much as you know yourself?

So, I've been thinking lately about all the things I’d like to do, like to achieve, all the things I have started to do and haven’t quite finished (or even really started) and have noticed quite a trend to my life...I never seem to finish anything. Ever.

Anyone know knows me knows I am always on the look for the thing that will help me make my mark, stand out against everyone else, basically make me fall outside the category of the norm and fall into the category of the ‘special’ (minus the drooling and pants wetting of course). I have hopes and dreams, as do we all, and aspirations that are endless. And with these hopes and dreams (and aspirations) I also think I have something of the know how and skills to achieve these, no matter what field they are in. My problem is, which admittedly has only really recently sunk in, is that no matter what these things are I never seem to follow through on them. It left me wondering, what exactly is stopping me from achieving the greatness I really think I have in me? Why is it I never can seem to follow through with ANYTHING I start?

As far as psychology goes, if I were to delve into my past I would certainly find an answer or 2 there. Abandoned by my father at the age of 6 months, abandoned by my mother at the age of 6, out of home at 15 from my ‘adopted’ family due to physical/emotional abuse...jesus, this list goes on. Essentially my life was full of rejection so not completing anything would quite easily fall under the category of ‘tries to avoid rejection by not allowing myself to be rejected due to failure’. Now this could quiet easily be right and I could mark it as resolved (as far as analysis goes) and work out a cure. The trouble with that is I really don’t think I am THAT damaged by my past to let it affect me as such. Yet I still cant move forward.

Now looking at it from a non-psychological point of view it could very easily be marked down as laziness. Lets face it, if I were to be completely honest, I am one lazy mofo. At a very ‘comfy’ 100 kgs (yeah, I know) I certainly don’t come across as the type of person blessed with high motivation. I would rather sit in front of a computer/console and play games all day as go for a walk. Yet this could also be deduced as false. I am up at the crack of dawn most days, would rather walk everywhere when travelling than car/bus/train, tries to take care of most things straight away rather than leave them till last minute. So laziness, whilst somewhat true. Isn’t the cause.

The only other thing I could maybe claim is genetics. I cant speak for my fathers side as I just don’t know the guy. As far as my mothers side goes, to my knowledge, everyone in my family is very motivated. Although they haven’t really achieved ‘greatness’ they certainly don’t shy away from trying, whether it be work orientated, family orientated or anything else, to my knowledge, they are all very driven. Based on my limited knowledge genetics it isn’t.

I guess this leaves me the task of looking at the last three statements and trying to see if maybe one of my analyses is incorrect. I can take 1 minute, I can take 1 week or I can take all the time in the world but if I were to be honest with myself based on the facts I see before me the only conclusion I can truly deduce from all this is that maybe, just maybe, my for analysis based on psychological events is wrong.

I am aware that this may be a hasty conclusion to come to and I am aware that it is possible I am wrong but for this blog I am going to take the approach I think is most honest and say no, this is correct. I am damaged (feel free to refrain from adding comments on that little epiphany).

So without going into months, possibly years of therapy and without sitting here saying woe is me and feeling sorry for myself how do I work past this? I’m sure I could look on the internet for many answers that are possibly very valid but the point of this is to try to figure out a resolve now. I am aware that not everyone is destined for great things. At the end of the day there has to be someone who is there to clean that toilet, serve the fries even bury the deceased. However I really believe, from the bottom of my heart I am destined for better than that. In no way am I disregarding all the jobs I feel I am destined to be ‘greater than’, I am more searching for a way to work past this fear of rejection.

I know everyone, big, small, young, old, whatever. Everyone is afraid of rejection in 1 form or another. I think the difference between what I am living through and what a percentage of the population lives through is that they don’t let the fear control their life where I do.

So I pose this question to you, what can I do to work past this? What tools do I have, what actions can I take to make sure that no matter what, I at least attempt to achieve this greatness I think I am destined for?

Alas reader, I don’t have the answer. Well, I don’t have the definitive answer. I have a lot of answers that may or may not be what I am looking for. Whether they are right or not I do not know.

What I do know is this, I am 32, have taken very little real jumps into the unknown to achieve anything really. Everything I have don’t and achieve has been done with such ease. My working career has never really been a struggle for me when it came to getting where I got. I never struggled to achieve what I did. Basically, it was almost a free ride.

So my first step is the open mic night I am going to perform at. If anything is going to make me confront my fear of rejection its performing in front of a lot of people I don’t know. At the end of the day, if I can survive this maybe I can survive anything I put myself into? Who know, maybe I might even succeed.

Greetings again travelers. I felt it time to share again from the deep recesses of my mind (yeah, those vaults are full of nasty stuff). This time the topic is something I have had enough experience in for one lifetime - death. (Yeah, there is almost a pun there)

 So tomorrow, were he still alive, would have been Aaron's 32nd birthday. I often wonder what he would be like now, interests, where his life would be etc. I could fill pages with my wonderings but this is not what this little diatribe is about.

 My question is this - What’s next?

 There are many schools of thought that maintain to know a thing or 2 about where we go from here. There's this book around, I've seen in once or twice, which apparent has a lot of answers. For me these answers really are satisfactory. My favorite part is where people that take their own lives don’t get in to heaven yet people who take others lives do if they ask for forgiveness. What. The. Fuck. (?!?!)

I digress.

 What is next? There is the part of me that REALLY struggles to accept that this is all meaningless who believes in an afterlife. This part of me is in constant battle with the scientific part that can't believe in that that can't be proven (inner turmoil much?).

 So what is next? Let’s take the theological side first. Ok, for the case of this argument there is a heaven. And a hell I guess as well. To my understanding in heaven everyone can see what happens and watches and observes. Wow, that makes talking to someone at a grave a little redundant doesn't it?

PERSON AT GRAVE - 'Hey man. (Insert story here)'

PERSON IN HEAVEN - 'I know dammit. I see what’s happening' (end scene). Makes us all seem that little bit less intelligent huh?

 So that just leaves the other side of the argument. Nothing. Emptiness forever. An eternity of rotting in the ground. The great thing about this is you don’t know it because there is no semblance of consciousness. Personally, this frightens the fuck out of me, in a BIG way.

 What if there is a third scenario that we are unaware of?

We DO rot in the ground but we are aware of it for eternity. No heaven, no hell, just trapped in your body. Hmm..maybe that’s a little too dark?

How about we live our life again. We don’t reincarnate as something else. Instead we are born into ourselves again, live our life again but make different choices and different decisions? In essence try to perfect our existence. We get the chance to do things right (for our wrongs) and learn a whole different bunch of lessons.

Another plane of existence where no matter what rights or wrongs you have committed everyone is accepted. No highest power. Everyone is the same and everyone gets to watch and influence lives?

Reincarnation? (My 2^nd least favorite scenario)

  So reader, what do you think the next segment of existence/nonexistence? I lose sleep sometimes and do my head in wondering what is next. I can't accept there is nothing next. Not because I can’t accept that this is all for nothing. Its more that I struggle to accept that I do not have the capabilities to continue on. Yeah, my problems all lie in my arrogance but seriously, whose doesn’t?

 I personally hope more than anything that there IS something after this. Yeah, I wont find out (or not find out) until its too late, but at the end of the day the belief that there is something next sits well with me. This way I can go to be knowing that wherever he is, there is a great chances that Aaron is much better off now than he ever was before.

 R.I.P. buddy.

 Night reader.

Here I am. In my room. Well, more of an extension of a house as opposed to an actual bedroom. The geniuses that decided to add a room on this house decided removing the wood panels from the back of the house were not a necessity and built around it. This one wall is wood panels that protrude on an angle. I am pretty sure when they finished building around this section of the house they also decided that re-painting this section of wall was also not necessary. The paint is old, weatherworn and showing the start of flaking. The rest of the room looks like it has been fastened to the back of the house and could vanish in an instant if a strong wind were to blow. How spectacular.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my room. The contents of this room aren’t much to go on. A single bed, a set of draws, a bed side table and a clothes dryer. The clothes dryer would seem like a very out of place item in a bedroom if I wasn’t used to being someone in the house that was more like a visiting relative rather than a child.

My parents deemed it ok to place the clothes dryer in my room as there was obviously nowhere else more fitting for this electrical item, like a laundry for instance. The thought of the possible health and safety issues that could arise from the placement of such an item is something that really hasn’t occurred to them. I look at the positive. The constant humming of the dryer in action is a great thing to fall asleep to at night. That and the heat that emanates from the dryer as is goes through its paces.

Again, off the topic, my room. I am in my room with all these things as well as with my step sister Sharon. The offspring of my delightful ‘adopted’ parents Jenny and Ron. Don’t be fooled, I was not adopted in any sort of official sense but that is something I will get to.

We are in my room listening to my stereo. I can’t tell you what is playing at the time although I would be willing to bet that its Man of Colours by Icehouse. That was pretty much all I ever listened to. That’s the trouble with having a childhood I had. You have this ability to block out nearly everything but the ability to help it resurface is nowhere to be found. I would be upset about this, possibly even look into therapy to unlock some of these delightful memories. However, if they are any like the few dozen I still have access to, I am more than happy to keep them locked in the dark recesses of my mind. Those are probably memories I don’t need or want anymore.

Listening to Man Of Colours and dancing around like a bunch of idiots. That’s what we are although I think the technical term is ‘children’. I am placing my age at somewhere in the vicinity of 10-12. I know that a pretty broad age there but refer to my previous statement regarding memories if you have a problem with it. At this point in time, that all I got.

So, if I am in that age bracket that places Sharon between 2-4. Obviously a bit younger than I but still hanging out in my room jumping around like an idiot, or child, to Icehouse. This little exercise goes on for a fair few minutes. Nothing exciting.

I don’t really remember how it happened. I do know I was not looking in Sharon’s direction so never actually saw what happened. I guess this detail works against me in the next few hours to follow. What I do know is I am look away and then suddenly BAM! The room shakes and then Sharon starts crying, nay screaming hysterically. I turn around and see her near my wall, the one with the delight protruding wood, sitting on the floor in hysterics. If I could go back in time just to see what my face looked like I don’t doubt there would be a very confused look splashed across my face.

Suddenly the bedroom door opens and in step the parents of the year. The look at Sharon then at me, then at Sharon again until slowly turning their gaze back to my face and slowly ask “What happened?”

I have no answer. Actually, a better way of putting that is I can’t talk. Words don’t form. I have an answer in my head that would probably defuse a bit of the tension straight away but no matter how many times I try to get my mouth to work in conjunction with my brain, all that happens is my mouth repeatedly opens and closes like a fish. Talk boy. Make your words. You can do it.

The shadow over me now seems at first to be my mind making it a little darker to force me to speak. It’s not a trick of the mind. Its Ron. He has stepped forward and is looming over me in a very menacing way. A way that makes my anxiety levels sky rocket and that feeling of dread I seem to get whenever he is near intensify.

“What happened?” It’s the same question but with a little more demand and aggression in his voice. I know that if I don’t answer very soon I may find myself on the tail end of one of his hidings is has formed a habit of giving me. It’s been a while and the thought of another 8 hours in the corner, or worse, being belted until I can’t sit down or am bruised over my entire backside, well, that something I’d like to avoid.

“We...we...we were listening to music and I think Sharon ran into the wall”. Mistake number 1. I Think. 2 words that a certain to be my undoing. Maybe if I had of said that exact same sentence without using the words ‘I Think’ it would have been more believable. Hell, it would have been a whole lot more assertive and may have helped me avoid the punishment I am to receive within a few hours. The problem is, at the age of 10-12 you really don’t know how to be assertive. It’s not something you are good at. Hell, you probably can’t even spell the damn word.

Ron looks at me with a look that I can only describe as disgust. I am aware of the circumstances that surround how I came to live with him and Jenny but at times, actually most of the time, I am certain he hates me. It’s a strong word, I know, but this is a feeling I can’t shake. In fact, I never shake that feeling. It’s with me to this day.

Ron walks over to look at Sharon and sees a nice bruise forming on her hear right where the dent is. That’s right, she hit the wall so hard she has a dent in her head. And its bruising. And it looks bad. Not the bruise, that looks terrible. The situation, THAT looks bad. Alone, in a room with a younger sibling when an all mighty crash is heard and suddenly the room has that sibling sitting on the floor screaming with a bruised dent in her head. Sometimes, there is no positive to be seen no matter how hard you look.

Ron kneels down in front of Sharon and asks her what happened. She confirms my version of events. She ran into the wall. Ron and Jenny are doubtful. So doubtful in fact they pause. Pause long enough for Ron to think for a few seconds before he asks the question. This question is my undoing. This question will end with me standing in the corner for hours a day for a few weeks. It will also end with me being ‘punished’ in one of his usual ways. This question in a question I really wish he hadn’t thought of and hadn’t asked.

“Did David ram your head into the wall?” That’s it. As soon as I hear it escape his lips I know that I am in some seriously trouble no matter what. As soon as the questions passes through his lips and into not only Sharon and Jenny’s ears but into his own, I know he has convinced himself this is what took place. Whether I did or didn’t ram her head into the wall (and for the record, I didn’t. Never even thought of it) I know that this is what he will believe until his dying day.

At first Sharon says no. At first I am starting to believe that maybe this isn’t going to end badly for me. Maybe this is the one time that god, Allah or whatever higher being there is, is looking out for me for once. I become hopeful.

The question and answer segment goes back and forth a few times with the same results “Did David ram your head into the wall?”. “No”. Its good. In fact, it’s great. Finally, something  I didn’t do that doesn’t get pinned on me. A feeling of relief washes over me in a wave of calming bliss I can’t remember ever feeling. I relax.

I relax a little too soon. Sharon is 5. She is young. And we know the young are easily persuaded in to saying what they think you want them to say.

The questions keep getting asked and the response starts to falter. Sharon starts to realise that ‘Mum and Dad’ want her to say yes. I see it in her eyes before I hear her say it. 3 letters. Three tiny insignificant letters that mean can mean nothing and can mean everything. This time they mean everything. This time they mean a world of punishment that I have experience before, in one form or another, and will experience again. Three letters that I learn to say even when the answer is no and I am lying. Three letters I will say in the future, again and again, to avoid days of punishment. Three letters I will use to make sure my punishment, although massive, will only last the 1 day.

The ask again “Did David ram your head into the wall?”. Sharon stops, looks at each of us then focuses her attention back onto Ron. “Yes” They turn to me with a look of loathing that no innocent person should ever have to experience before they start to advance on me. I can’t believe this is going to happen again.

Welcome to my life.

So tomorrow is my birthday and yet again, like a 6 monthly cycle, I can’t help but take a look at my life and everything I have experienced. This never ends well. I get all nostalgic and start to wonder stupid stuff that I can never answer. Stuff along the lines of 'If my upbringing had of been different where would I be right now?'
Who cares? I am where I am right?
Wrong. I care. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be doing the same thing every 6 months with no outcome and no resolve. It seems that my delightful childhood is a reoccurring nightmare I can never escape. There is no such thing as an exorcism for memories.
You can block out memories. I know. I have managed to master the art of doing so. Through trouble is although I have managed to block out a lot of memories I subconsciously decided to keep the 'cream of the crop'. The memories I have are things of terror. I don’t suffer nightmares. I don’t intentionally hurt people. I don’t abuse my child. Yet I am still haunted by these ghosts of my past.
I am the one forever saying that people need to move on and forget about things they can’t change yet I cannot head my own advice. I seem to be stuck in this everlasting cycle of psychological memorabilia. This are re-runs of old movies that aren’t artist, aren’t in black and white, aren’t good for the human spirit and seem to drag me down time and again.
Well, patient reader, what do you suppose the answer is? Therapy? Alcoholism? Drug dependency? While all these options do sound inviting they are too expensive an option. None of these ‘solutions’ are really going to help me work through my emotional baggage.
I will write. As I have been writing these blogs I have discovered that they are somewhat cathartic.
That isn’t saying that I am going to blog all the time. There is too many things that churn through my mind and some of which I really don’t think should be read by the public. Maybe that’s it, maybe the public’s eye is what will help pull me out of this funk.
I have decided to write a ‘memoir’ of sorts. Maybe this will help. Maybe it will just make me see I am more fucked up than I originally thought. I am thinking both of these results will happen. I do know that writing these days seems to be the best way for me to express myself so I will look at it as a form of self medication.
I have written a ‘prologue’ for this so called self medication I am writing. I am offering it as a form of self sacrifice for you to read. It’s not great. I mean, I don’t think the writing is overly shite, but the tale is great. It’s what I like to think of the doorway to the world of shit that was my first 15 years.
As time goes on maybe I will make the ‘chapters’ of this more readily available. Maybe not.

Who knows?

For as long as I can remember, whenever I was asked if I was a glass half full, half empty type of guy I would always respond with ‘what’s IN the glass?’ It was my way to do a few things. Have a witty retort (as I am known for with everything) as well as not have to answer the question directly. Let’s face it, who wants to be seen as a primarily positive or negative person? Once you do something that is the opposite of this expectation you are suddenly ‘acting out of character’.

Only recently I have come to the conclusion that my response, although originally meant for fun, actually has some merit. Let me explain.

Answering half full means you are a positive person. Answering half empty mean negative. Let’s face it, that is a VERY black or white labelling system. And life is anything but black and white.

With life being multi shades it is not always easy to have a ‘half full/half empty’ attitude. I know myself, whenever I am presented with something that is out of the ordinary I don’t think to myself “ok, I’m a half full guy. Let’s be positive”. My initial response is usually to assess the situation and work out a possible resolution. The last thing on my mind is glasses.

Sitting in the half full/half empty mind set is just not always possible. So if you have labelled yourself either and then are faced with a situation where the label just doesn’t fit does that make you a hypocrite? Have you morals changed? Are you no longer the person you thought you were?

The answer to all 3 of those questions is no. There is an excellent chance you are still the same personal you have always been. The only difference is your response to the situation.

If you preference is to look at life with a positive (or negative) perspective that is fine. However, thinking that this label doesn’t suit just because your response wasn’t formulated the same as it was at other times is ridiculous.

This brings me to my point (I think). When looking at ‘the glass’ on average you don’t look at whether it is ‘full’ or ‘empty’. You look at the contents. Its what’s in the glass that counts. And its what’s in the glass that will determine your actions and that will determine whether, for that particular situation, you are a ‘half full/half empty’ person. Without knowing what’s in the glass you won’t know what you are going to do or going to think. Contents count more than the amount.

And thus ends the lesson.

With a 4 °C increase in the global temperature predicted over the next 50 to 100 years, over population may be a thing of the past. This as well as other frightening possibilities, including a Brazilian desert, no more ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica and the rising of sea levels of at least 1 to 2 meters are what scientists are forecasting as part of the earth’s future if we don’t act now.

In a report created by the conservative Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the earth and all its inhabitants have been presented with a rather bleak look into the future.

As is the growing trend now these reports are re-examined, re-written and re-distributed to warn everyone of what is the likely outcome of our ways. Why then do we fail to act now and believe that although these reports say otherwise, we will still have ‘plenty of time’ to repair the damage we have done?

Although governments of the world, some more than others, are taking this seriously, it is becoming more and more obvious that a percentage of governments are not doing enough or not doing it quickly enough.

With the current economic global crisis, it may be understandable, even possibly forgivable that world leaders are looking more at helping out struggling people and putting the environment issues on a mental ‘to do list’ but how long can they ignore something that is going to affect everyone on a much larger scale?

With the current erratic behaviour experienced worldwide with floods, droughts, fires and all other forms of weather, is it not time for the people in power to stop what they are doing, take a long hard look at the pressing issues and start to formulate a plan now rather than later?

Currently, worldwide, emissions are at such a level that scientists are too scared to even consider the outcome if we are to keep living the way we are and not change our ways.

The problem with putting a plan into action to start to reverse the situation is that there are constantly new reports published every week, with a growing alarmist subtext predicting greater destruction, death and misery. With the ever growing release of the studies and reports, it’s hard to take them as seriously as they should be taken when the feeling is that this theory is being force upon you.

Coupled with the increase in reports is the difference in suspected results and outcomes. With a new report each week with a different outcome predicted, how is one supposed to take them seriously and put a plan in action, especially when with each report there is a different set of suggested guides on what to do?

With the reports being made public weekly there is also a noticeable lack of clear guidelines on what exactly need to be done and exactly when. There is always a rather broad set of instructions or recommendations as well as a broad time line in which these instructions or recommendations should be undertaken. There is no clear and defined plan put out that one can follow.

Lower carbon emission, recycle, reduce the burning of fossil fuels, walk, ride, car pool, use energy efficient light globes, and install solar panels. There are just a handful of the recommendations handed out. However, with the recommendations comes the negative effect of not seeing exactly what you are doing and how that is working for the positive.

There is always a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment when you do something that helps but without being able to see the immediate benefits of what you have done, one loses interest and find something else that presents more of an ‘immediate’ reward.

What needs to happen is for a definite plan to be made and laid out to every nation and every person in power who is capable to make changes on a grander scale to follow. With a plan that instructs what to do from start to finish, with a clear and concise set of instructions, leaving no room for interpretation, we could start to repair the damage the human race has done and possibly make this world a better place for future generations.

If the governments of the world were to act now rather than discuss acting, we could be on the road to a quicker recovery, which is obviously what this planet needs.

This doesn’t mean that the individual person needs to stop the small things they are doing in their day to day life to improve their aiding the environment. In fact, if we were all to take a page out of these individuals’ books we may notice an improvement within the environment. Maybe not straight away but over time the improvements would be impossible to miss.

Acting together, sooner rather than later, is the way to stop the extinction of plants, animals and the annihilation of the human race.

You know when you are out, enjoying an early afternoon shop, or going through a shopping centre and you see that delightful woman enforcing 'social acceptable' behaviour in her kids in ways that most special forces use as interrogation techniques? Don’t you just love that woman, from her outgrown bleached blond hair to her size 10 bike pants snugly fit around her size 16 ass? Makes you want to leave your kids, or someone else’s kids, to help bring them up the 'right' way. if this woman is lucky her kids will grow up to resent her and possibly avoid the pain of their delightful childhood by drinking themselves into unemployment, poverty and possibly a life most people see as below standard.

Wake up woman. Shaking your child around like a piñata ISNT going to yield the results you are looking for (and certainly isn’t going to yield the results of more candy to feed your oversized face, gut and ass).

Here is a startling revelation for you, the reason your child is possibly misbehaving may stem from, get ready for it, you!

Remember when this child was 1 or 2 years of age and rather then stand your ground when saying no you gave it every time? Guess what? This is the final result. You have successfully raised a selfish, misbehaving spoilt child. That’s right, this child isn’t suffering the terrible 2's (or 3's or 4's or 5's). This child is suffering poor parenting.

I have a solution for you. Every time your child misbehaves rather shake the hell out of them, or yell, or swear, or scream at them maybe you should step up to a mirror, yell at yourself for a bit and shake the hell out of yourself.

Who knows, maybe you will learn a lesson or 2. You will certainly know what it feels like to be treated like a liability rather than like a child should be treated. Wake up. This child will become the end product of all the 'life lessons' you can and will treat it, whether or purpose or not.

As for all you people out there who witness this delightful person and really want to say something to them, believe me, nothing is more satisfying than knowing you may have helped an innocent child from some form of abuse (even if only for 5 minutes).

I know, it’s a bold statement. Work, life, money, they all seem to come with their different kinds of pressures and stresses. Some things seem to have no solution. Well, not immediately anyway. Until such a time as a solution is presented/discovered what should you do in the interim? Why stress out of course. Err, wrong.

As entertaining as stressing may be there is also some negative effects (who would have thought?). Some of my more favourite are Anxiety Disorder, Sleep Difficulty and Stroke. All this and all you have to do is stress. The great thing is you can suffer all these symptoms from stressing and then be told you need to relax which, interestingly enough, usually causes people to stress more. Once you stress more the symptoms increase which means you need to relax more which then makes...well, you can see where this is going right? The phrase ‘early grave’ springs to mind.

What can you do? Well, you can realise there is nothing you can actually do. By this I mean you can sit there and work yourself into a mini panic wondering, stressing and adding more pressure to whatever is on your mind OR you can sit there and realise that no matter what you do at said point in time isn’t really going to change the overall outcome.

Here is a story (which is a true story that a work associate is experiencing at the moment)

Person goes for a job interview. Walks out of said job interview convinced she ‘stuffed up’. Answered all the questions with broad, non-specific answers. Didn’t keep eye contact. Was distracted. Basically everything your should do in an interview she didn’t and everything you shouldn’t do she did. How disappointing.

So she comes out of the interview and replays it in her head again and again and AGAIN. Over the course of the day she stresses herself out so much that she can’t concentrate, is extremely distracted and eventually starts to feel sick. What is remarkable about this is that nothing she will do is going to change the outcome of the interview.

Eventually I ask her ‘What do you think you are going to achieve by stressing over this?’. She looked at me blankly and answered ‘nothing’. Obviously I was not surprised by this answer. I then countered with the question ‘so, if you are going to achieve nothing out of stressing other than discomfort, unhappiness and an over powering urge to throw up, why are you doing it?’. Again, I was greeted by a very blank look with a hint of what I like to call realisation and then answer of ‘I don’t know’.

And there you have it. On average people stress with no positive outcome from it but find themselves unable to control it...or cant they?

I won’t lie, I have plenty of day to day stresses in my life. The thing I have discovered that no matter what, unless my actions are something that is going to achieve a positive result, thinking and stressing on it really isn’t going to change it. I can honestly say that on average my life is relatively stress free. Don’t get me wrong, there are still things that get the better of me some times but I am aware when it happens and try to do whatever I can to alleviate that stress. I think that is where most people are different. They can’t acknowledge the thing that is causing them to stress until they are so deep into that stress that its next to an impossibility to stop stressing. Or if they can, they are so self programmed to stress that their immediate reaction is to envelop themselves in stress, layering it on themselves so fast and so thick that there is no time to pause and stop themselves.

Here are a few things I do and think to stop myself stressing. Some or all of these may not work for you but what have you got to lose from trying?

1.       Firstly pinpoint the normal actions and characteristics you exhibit when you start to stress. This doesn’t mean to try it once you start to stress but think over times where you have stressed yourself to the point of exhaustion and try to remember what you did or felt that caused this.

2.       Once you have pinpointed these actions and characteristics try to work out what you can do to counteract them. I find that rather than try to distract myself from a problem that will thrash around my mind like a rabid animal I face that thought head on and list possible solutions for said problem. As clichéd as it sounds, ignoring something doesn’t make it go away, it only makes it more difficult to deal with later on.

3.       If you have pinpointed the problem and thought about all possible solutions maybe try putting those solutions into play. A problem doesn’t solve itself. Ignoring doesn’t make it go away or solve itself. Only you can face it head on. Maybe dedicate the energy you would normal expel on stressing to tackling this problem.

4.       If you have thought about it, looked at solutions, even tried solutions and realised in the end that no action you take is going to solve this problem, do nothing. But in the process of doing nothing realise that NOTHING you can do or think is going to change the outcome. If you have honestly examined this problem thoroughly and can honestly say to yourself that no action is going to change the outcome, embrace this decision. If you can honestly examine and realise that nothing is going to change it then it’s safe to say that nothing IS going to change it. Expelling energy on something that is now out of your control is undoubtedly better used on something else that has a solution and can be managed.

5.       Do NOT waste a second more on something that is uncontrollable when you could use that second on something that is controllable.

This is the basic 5 steps I take. Obviously this isn’t set in stone and some problems can’t be solved this basically but ultimately most problems aren’t as big as they seem.

This is a VERY hard mantra to take. Its takes a lot of practise and a lot of discipline. Like I said, sometimes it’s a lot easier said than done. However, at the end of the day, if you can do this on 1 problem a day it can grow from there. Eventually you may find that things that used to stress you out at the drop of a hat now barely cause a blimp on your radar.

Stress is controllable. It’s in your hands. The question is, do you really want to stress or would you prefer a stress free life?